The River's Journal

Yah Steve I can do it too!  Don't feel too special now do you!

So my co-worker went to a sex show the other day and this was the conversation that arrose at work because of it.
Meagen: I went to a sex show last night and there were all these dildos and one of them looked like a magic wand.  So I picked it up and looked at my friend and said "Expelliarmus"
Me:  Wow that is sad.  Better that than avade kedavra.
Meagen: Wingardium Leviosa!
Me: Engorgio!

For those non harry potter nuts engorgio makes things grow.  We had a huge laugh and my boss called us sad.

Alright well as some of you know I am bored as hell here at work and as such I spend some time checking the usual sites regarding movies, comics, ninjas, and so on and so forth.  In my stumbles(probably relating to booze) I came across this today:

The action picks up two years after Superman defeats Lex Luthor. Superman is saving the crew aboard the International Space Station, which has been hit by a micro-meteorite. While this is going on, back on Earth the famed scientist Ted Nelsonian is readying to test his Cobalt Lazing Inference Projection Emesis Maker. A butterfly lands on, and short circuits, a piece of equipment, and the device explodes. This turns Dr. Nelsonian insane and gives him the power to cause squirrels to become very agitated. He goes into hiding and re-appears 2 weeks later as the evil Prof. Nuskins. He kidnaps Lois Lane and has his squirrel minions carry Jimmy Olsen very high up into a tree. In his secret lab he shows Lois the machine he built that will cause all of the squirrels and chipmunks in the world to speak the language of whatever printed matter he inserts into its shredder. In this case, Finnish. Superman bursts into Prof. Nuskins' lab and saves Lois, but he's careless and Nuskins smears him with butter. Superman, obviously outraged, grabs Nuskins and yells at him that there's no way to keep this stain from setting. Nuskins morphs into an even more evil villian. He is now Capt. Crunchem, and he is able to shoot breakfast cereal from his eyes. He coats Superman with a thick coating of wheat germ. Superman becomes grossed out and starts whining. Lois makes the connection that Clark Kent whines like that as well. She realizes that Superman and Clark are the same person, once again. This time, however, she realizes that she prefers Superman to Clark Kent. Mainly because of the tights. Superman stops his crying and neatly folds Capt. Crunchem into a four inch square. Lois takes the folded villian and drops him into his own shredder. Thus ends the evil villian. However, all the world over squirrels begin speaking Finnish and shooting wheat germ at people in the park.

Yes folks that is the synopsis on IMDB for Superman: The Man of Steel.  This is awesome and I loved it.  Here is the link for you to have proof
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770828/synopsis

Now I think everyone here has read my thoughts on video games turned to movies...if you haven't let's just say I don't think they are worth wasting your life seeing.  Especially if Uwe Boll directed.  The only ones I think might make good movies are possibly a Warcraft(which would turn out looking like LOR) and Starcraft(which would turn out to look like starship troopers).  So when I read this this morning I was visibly upset.  I fail to see how a Sims movie seems like a good idea for the following reasons:
1) Dialog: Around the dinner table a heated argument develops between mommy and daddy Sim; daddy sim argues "A hooten how na burwaddy" while mommy sim simply retorts "Groshnak"
2) Excitement factor: The tension builds as daddy sim goes out to work as Street Musician on an empty stomach; his is agitated and forced to make a quick decision; either he plays his sax on 4th street or the guitar on the corner of Sim Ave and Sim Lane!  WILL HE LOOSE HIS JOB AND A CREATIVE SKILL POINT?! Tune in next week.
3) Rating system: This movie will have to be rated R because whenever I play the sims there is rampant "Woohooing" and plenty of going to the bathroom(sometimes in their pants and sometimes not) how is this good cinema?!
4) Climax: Mommy sim just wants a little romance in her life...in fact her life goal is to woohoo with 50 different sims...what a slut.  Anyway daddy sim is a scientist who wants to have 5 grandchildren.  Mommy sim accidentally clicked "try for a baby" instead of "Woohoo" and as such has ended up pregnant! OH NO! Meanwhile daddy Sim is busy looking through his telescope for 6 hours and gets abducted by aliens!!!! A TRAGEDY!!! Leaving mommy sim all alone to tend for her baby while daddy sim gets probed and impregnated with an alien child. Mommy sim gets depressed and pisses herself.

This movie will suck

Okay so I just got out of 28 weeks later and wow...I mean wow.
Never before have I heard a theatre so quiet after the movie ends...Keep in mind this isn't a bad thing.
The movie starts out with a scene from the original outbreak and instantly you are brought back to the first one.  You are reminded of how terrible the situation was and how absolutely horrific the first one was.  Robert Carlyle was fricking brilliant.  I mean my god...I am in aw.  To quote the people behind me "Fuck, Shit, Oh shit!"
The only uplifting thing about this movie is the ending...which I won't give away but if you ask me why I think so I will respond to that in person. Yes this review is not concise or in any way descriptive but I am in no mood for that right now.  I am tired...SHUT UP!